Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

I am an adult child of an alcoholic. My mother is a mean drunk. While growing up, I had to act as her therapist and deal with her codependency. I have been lucky to have processed a lot of the trauma in therapy and to have a loving and healthy family of my own now.

We actively avoid Mom after 3 p.m. because I don’t want my kids subjected to her cruelty. I do not think it is healthy for them to be around abusive, inebriated people. I am pregnant. My mom has always wanted to be in the delivery room for a birth.

My mother is a mean drunk. Growing up, I had to act as her therapist and deal with her co-dependency. I'm pregnant now, and Mom wants to be in the delivery room. How do I tell her no, but let godmother be there?

I don’t want to be around her when she’s drunk because of her tendency to make everything about herself, cause drama and upset me. I’d rather not have to deal with her narcissism